10 November, 2010

Operation Successful, Patient Dead

An account of my recent knee arthroscopy:

The eve of the operation was interesting. Asked to lie down on the bed, I was pricked at several places for a few blood tests. Then came a man who actually, and I mean actually, shaved off the whole of my right leg – from thigh to ankle all to my horror. And to the utter horror of my sister, my leg now oozed a lot more sex appeal than hers. And then he did something which is better not mentioned here, though I must say it doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. :P

I was asked to get up at 6am the next day (WHAT!!!) for an 8am surgery. I came there on two legs, I was running around till the previous day on two legs and at 7:45am, they got a big rolling stretcher. I couldn’t stop laughing that I actually had to lie on it and go to the Operation Theatre, when I could have easily gone there on foot.

“Football or bike??” those were the first words of the anaesthetist. “Football”, I laughed. She explained the entire process that would take place over the next hour and a half – they would put in a camera through one of the holes that would be pricked near my knee and all that – things that I already had an idea about. “Would you like to see the surgery on the screen or should I give you a sedative?”, she asked. I never thought the former could be an option, and I jumped in glee at the prospect. She gave me a mild sedative just in case I couldn’t bear watching the surgery. I slept off immediately, not sure whether it was the sedative or the fact that I had woken up at 6am!

Once the surgery started, she woke me up, “Aditya, you wanted to see right?” I saw the inside of my knee on the screen. Wow, it was beautiful to say the least. The tissue/ligament white and furry (was it furry because it was torn?), my bones white. It really looked awesome and for the first time I understood what “being beautiful from inside” meant. After watching it for about 10 minutes I dozed off again. (Sedative or 6am?)

My knee was wrapped up with cotton, crepe bandage and a pad, which is more or less like that of a wicket-keeper’s, and has 6 aluminium bars which makes it excruciatingly heavy. Thankfully, I did not blabber anything under the influence of the anaesthesia (not even the names of my appendixes :P) I then saw the X-ray of my leg. Wow! They have put in a nail in my bone!! My only fear now is whether it would set off the metal detector at the airport! “My name is K…Adi K…and I’m not a terrorist!”, I’m all ready to say. :)

This was my first surgery, if you discount the four stitches below my lower lip when I was eight years old. I was actually looking forward to it, assuming what my doc said – that I would be walking from the next day – to be actually true. What he didn’t mention was I would be walking on 3 legs, one of my own and two those of the crutches with my other biological leg hanging in the air. Am I eligible for a three-legged race?